2015 Movies in Mini Reviews

Confession: I actually really don’t like writing reviews for…well, anything. I’m just not good at it, unless I really have a lot to say about the thing I’m reviewing. At work, we have a board where employees can post movie reviews, and the longer I’m at the theater, the shorter my reviews become. Most of the time they consist of 1) a short, witty sentence that takes me five minutes to come up with and that I think is extremely clever and funny, 2) an evaluation of how hot the actors were, and/or 3) a doodle relating to the movie. Example: my review for The Force Awakens was just: “It was out of this WORLD”.

Long, detailed reviews just aren’t my specialty.

Which is why I will be reviewing 2015 movies in mini reviews. You’re not going to learn anything or benefit from this, so it’s completely pointless, but I’m doing it anyway.

Enjoy.

The majority of movies I see in a year are in theaters. I see a lot of movies. I work at a movie theater, okay? (And I can get in free haha jokes on you)

So here are my reviews of all the movies I saw in theaters in 2015:

  • The Imitation Game 

Centerline Rumblestrips did a good job acting. A+ soundtrack. 4/5 

  • Birdman

CAW CAW CAW. 4/5

  • The Seventh Son

This movie tried its best to be something else but I’m not sure what it was trying to be. 2.75/5

  • Kingsman: The Secret Service

Manners maketh man, and this movie maketh me happy. One of my favorites of 2015. 5/5

  • Fifty Shades of Grey

HAHA You thought I actually saw this for a minute there, didn’t you?

  • Chappie

???¿¿¿??? 2/5

  • Cinderella 

It’s exactly what you think it is. 3.5/5

  • The Age of Adaline

Well…that’s awkward. 3/5

  • The Avengers: Age of Ultron 

YEAH I LIKED IT OKAY I KNOW YOU DIDN’T BUT SHUT UP. 4.5/5

  • Mad Max: Fury Road

A.K.A. Not-really-Mad Max: Furiosa’s Road Rage. 4.5/5

  • Pitch Perfect 2

It’s funny until you have to watch The Voice credit scene a gazillion times while cleaning. 3.5/5

  • Tomorrowland

Something about a field. I don’t remember. 3/5

  • Spy

Spoiler: it was a movie about a spy. 4/5

  • Jurassic World 

THESE PEOPLE NEVER LEARN THAT MAKING BIGGER BADDER DINOS IS A VERY VERY BAD IDEA. 4.75/5

  • Inside Out

I know I was supposed to like this movie, but…*whispers* I didn’t really like it all that much. 2.75/5

  • Minions

I think this movie is what being on drugs is like. 2/5

  • Ant-Man

This movie was…surprisingly good? More Ant-Man please. 5/5

  • Mr. Holmes

The. Whole. Movie. Was. So. Slow. 3/5

  • Mission: Impossible – Rogue Nation

For such an embarrassing, poorly-made poster, this movie was awesome. 5/5

  • The Fantastic Four

Yikes. 1.5/5 

  • The Man from U.N.C.L.E. 

Armie Hammer and Henry Cavill = Dream Team. Much colors, wow. 5/5

  • Black Mass

I think it was good?? I was too confused to tell. 3/5

  • Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials

THERESA DOES NOT DO THAT IN THE BOOK I’M SO PISSED. 3.5/5

  • The Martian

Getting stranded on Mars? #relatable 5/5

  • Crimson Peak 

I smell an affair…Oh. 3/5

  • The Last Witch Hunter

This movie didn’t even try which actually made it kinda enjoyable. 3/5

  • Burnt

Oo, burn. I think. 3.5/5

  • The Peanuts Movie

Hello, nostalgia. 4.5/5

  • The Hunger Games: Mockingjay Part 2

Jake Gyllenhaal was so good. 4.75/5

  • Victor Frankenstein

Welcome to my twisted mind. 3/5

  • In the Heart of the Sea

Thor ain’t lookin’ so hot. 2.75/5

  • Star Wars: The Force Awakens 

Like I said earlier…It was out of this WORLD. 5/5

  • Point Break

Definitely reached my breaking point with this movie. 2/5

To wrap up: I saw over 30 movies in theaters this year (some of which I saw more than once). My favorites were Kingsman, The Man from U.N.C.L.E, The Martian, and The Force Awakens. The movie that disappointed me the most was Inside Out. Worst movie I saw was The Fantastic Four. 

Hope you enjoyed this completely useless post. If you liked this, maybe I’ll do more mini reviews in the future.

Until next time,

Erin

 

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8 thoughts on “2015 Movies in Mini Reviews

  1. CENTERLINE RUBBLESTRIPS. EXCUSE ME WHILE I DIE LAUGHING RIGHT NOW. XD okay but 99% of the reason I want to see that movie is for him…it’s on the to-do list. As is…like…everything. XD I’m horrible at keeping up with movies?! I really want to see Mad Max and Age of Ultron though…someday?! I saw Insurgent and thought it was far too cheesy. xD
    Thanks for stopping by @ Paper Fury!

    Like

    1. A friend came up with Centerline Rumblestrips, and I think it’s the funniest thing ever. 😀
      I know a lot of people really didn’t like Age of Ultron, but I did?? I don’t know, I thought it was an enjoyable superhero movie! And Mad Max was kind of weird, but it was surprisingly good!
      I didn’t see Insurgent, but I heard that it wasn’t great. I didn’t really have the desire to see it honestly.

      Like

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