I Write Synopses for Children’s Books

School has been kicking my gluteus maximus.

This semester started just a couple weeks ago, and I feel like I got thrown into the chaos without having any time to process what exactly was happening. I had assignments due right away, meetings to attend, and a gazillion emails to read. Only now do I feel like I’m finally starting to settle in and figure things out.

I’d love to blame my lack of blogging completely on school, but I’d be lying. I’m a lazy, unmotivated person, and frankly, I just didn’t know what to blog about.

I do better blogging when I have a specific topic in mind that I want to discuss that week. But ever since school started, I just couldn’t think of anything in particular that I wanted to write about. This morning I finally said to myself, “Look Erin, I love you girl, but you gotta post something. It doesn’t have to be anything deep or inspirational. Just post something stupid.”

So that’s what I’m going to do.

I thought it would be fun if I found some random books on Goodreads and, based only on the cover and the title, wrote what I think the book is about. But I didn’t just go with any genre of books, I went with children’s picture books.

And these are the results.

1. Rock-a-Bye Romp

25431143

My synopsis:

Peter’s mother was just trying to get her son to fall asleep by singing him a lullaby while rocking in her rocking chair. But when she rocks a little too hard, Peter ends up flying out of her arms and hitting his head against the wall. This sends Peter into a coma, filled with wild fantasies and dreams. Now Peter must navigate his subconscious with the help of his fishy friends, Linda, Bob, Nemo, Patricia, Tuna, and Lil’ Fin, in the hopes of returning to his mother once again. 

The actual syopsis:

Turning a beloved lullaby on its head, this wonderful read-aloud pairs playful text and enchanting paintings to create a rollicking escapade with a clever premise and a cozy conclusion.
“Rock-a-bye, Baby, in the treetop. How did you ever get so high up?”
That’s a good question—and this delightful book weaves a gentle fantasy around the baby who finds himself in that very predicament! A marvelous adventure ensues, taking Baby from the tree branches to a farm full of animals to a ride down the river, and finally on a flight through the night sky into the safety of Mama’s arms.

Well, I mean…I was close. But his name is Baby? At least I had the decency to give him a proper name. This book gets a 0/10 for good parenting skills.

2. Frankencrayon

25816783

My synopsis:

Violet Frankencrayon had watched too many crayons get murdered by young children who brutally broke them in half and threw their dead bodies in the trash. It was time to get revenge. By harnessing the power of the sun, Frankencrayon melds together the broken bodies of his friends, Orange and Green, resurrecting them from the dead and thus creating a monster. A monster that cannot be broken; a monster that does not possess feelings; a monster that is set on delivering the same brutal punishment to young children that they gave to crayons. But when the monster starts to turn on its own kind, the fate of the entire crayon race rests on Frankencrayon’s shoulders. 

The actual synopsis:

This picture book has been canceled.
Wait.
How can we be on the front flap of a canceled book?
Good question.

????

I am very confused, yet very intrigued. I’m adding this to my to-read list.

3. The Book with No Pictures

20821299

My synopsis:

Children will be confused by the lack of pictures. Parents will be confused trying to figure out if this is the same B.J. Novak they think it is. It’s no fun for anyone. Don’t read this book. 

The actual synopsis:

A book with no pictures?
What could be fun about that?
After all, if a book has no pictures, there’s nothing to look at but the words on the page.
Words that might make you say silly sounds… In ridiculous voices…
Hey, what kind of book is this, anyway?
At once disarmingly simple and ingeniously imaginative, The Book With No Pictures inspires laughter every time it is opened, creating a warm and joyous experience to share–and introducing young children to the powerful idea that the written word can be an unending source of mischief and delight. 

Something tells me my synopsis is more accurate.

Well, that’s all I’m going to do for now because I have to get ready for work. But this was a ton of fun. Maybe I’ll do it again with different genres. Let me know if you have any suggestions.

Until next time,

Erin

P.S. It is the same B.J. Novak. I did what you were too lazy to do: click on the author’s name in Goodreads. You’re welcome.